All I Know Is My Life Is Gone
by OmigashLeviRivaille
Summary: Destiny really loves to play with our damn lives, right? Just when I thought that I have finally found it, in an instant, I lost it again. I'm so pathetic and hopeless. -Levi Rivaille


**A/N: Hello there! So, I just recently finished reading SnK until Chapter 50 and I'm also catching up with Kuroko no Basket; the very reason why I'm currently having writer's block as of the moment. Cause every time I think of Levi, Kise pops up in my mind and every time I think of Kise, Levi comes popping out too so my thoughts are pretty much messed up beyond recognition right now but finally I managed to pull through and write this one-shot. I know, I know, it's kinda crappy and shitty caused I'm not in my proper state of mind as of the moment anyways, enough about me. xDDD**

**To at least get me inspired, I was listening to the song Call Your Name (A Shingeki no Kyojin OST. It's a great song. I loved it so much) repeatedly until I was through. So I guess, you can listen to it as well while reading the story since it pretty much relates. And in this fic, I made Rivaille as Levi's surname since I needed him to have a surname here and I can't think of anything else so Levi Rivaille. Anyway, I leave the rest to your imagination. Jaaaah~~~**

* * *

_(I'm crying  
Missing my lover  
I don't have the power  
On my side forever_

Oh where is my lover  
I got no power  
I'm standing alone, No way  
Calling out your name)

Eren's eyes widened with awe as his turn came nearer.

"It's finally here. I've waited a long time for this. I've been through hell the past few months, and this is more than I can ask for. The day when I'll finally have my own Scouting Legion Badge!" He proudly announced in a voice loud enough for the whole squad present at the scene to hear.

"Huh? What are you talking about Eren? Badge? What the hell is that? They're just going to give us freaking personalized dog tags! As if someone would be thrilled by something like that. I couldn't quite understand why they're actually holding a ceremony like this for something so lame. The Scouting Legion must have a screw loose."

"Jean, you idiot!" In an instant, Eren's eyes which were beaming with determination and pride moments ago were now filled with rage and anger. He slowly approached Jean who was standing a few meters away from him and forcefully grabbed his collar. Oh, he didn't care about the ceremony anymore, or if Levi-heichou will beat him up to a pulp later. He was going to give the arrogant boy a right slap in the ear hole.

"I was gravely mistaken about you Jean! I thought that when you finally decided to join the Scouting Legion, you have at least realized how rotten your personality and philosophy were but… you haven't changed at all. Sure, they maybe just fucking dog tags that couldn't even compare to the golden badges that the Military Police have but… they're not just there to hang on your neck aimlessly! They're a proof of our pledge and promise as soldiers of the Scouting Legion. They're the proof of that we're willing to offer our life for the good of humanity! That's why our initials are engraved on the other side! Take back what your said earlier… calling them worthless and lame… take back what you said…!"

Eren's swung his fist with such force that Jean was sure he would not be fast enough to dodge it. However, before the dreadful and vengeful blow was delivered, someone who was on an entirely different level from the two of them managed to stop Eren's hand just in time.

"Hey kid. What do you think you're doing? Do you want me to repeat what I did to you during your trial with Zacklay?"

Eren turned around and stood face to face with humanity's strongest soldier.

"Levi-heichou, I was just…"

Before Eren could finish fabricating an excuse for the ruckus that he has made, a swift but powerful kick found its way to his solar plexus.

"Gaaaah!" The force of the kick made Eren choked out for more than a minute.

Not far from him, Mikasa watched the whole situation with her salient features getting darker by the minute. She was about to move and come to Eren's aid when a gentle hand stopped her.

"Don't do it Mikasa. You'll make the whole situation worse. It's Eren's fault for losing his head easily anyway." Armin said, though the expression on his face says otherwise.

With a grimace, Mikasa went back to her line and stayed quiet. She actually admired the skillful heichou for his battle prowess and pure desire to save humanity but there's just one thing about him which she hated with all her might: his outrageous habit of hitting Eren every time.

_"He must quite enjoy doing it."_ Mikasa thought to herself but there was nothing she could do. No matter how pissed she was, she decided that it would be wise to just ignore the situation and do what Armin says. Eren wouldn't die form a mere beating like that anyway.

"Have you finally calmed down brat?" Levi slowly lifted Eren's bloody head from the ground by grasping his hair.

"Stop slacking around and go back to your line before I decided to cut your head off. And don't you dare make any noise! Seriously. All you do is giving me headaches." The respected corporal rubbed is temples in an attempt to stave off a threatening migraine. He stood up and turned to face Jean.

"And you…" He looked at the soldier with sharp, intimidating eyes and scowled at him. "Don't you dare belittle these mere things you refer to as dog tags. They may seem like useless pieces of metals to you but for hare brained idiots like him…" Levi turned to face Eren's limping form which was struggling to get on his feet. "…they're something more significant than that." He turned and proceeded to walk away but gave one last look at Jean. "If you really see it as something not worthy of yourself, then don't bother to engrave your initials on it." And with that, Levi disappeared into the darkness and left Jean speechless.

Not long after that, Commander Erwin finally reached their lines and carefully handed out their respective dog tags. As expected, Eren's face suddenly brightened as he received his most awaited "badge". It seemed ridiculous to Jean how something so petty could lighten Eren's mood instantly right after receiving a harsh beating from Levi-heichou. Well, Eren's one hell of an idiot anyway, so Jean dismissed the thought and looked at his own dog tag. Aside from it being cool-looking, Jean could not think up of any single purpose that it might serve so he carelessly stuffed the dog tag in his pocket and returned to his room to rest for the day.

Eren on the other hand, was drifting on an ecstasy of bliss and awe. He couldn't stop looking at it. His very own Scouting Legion "Badge". He flipped it backwards and his heart almost melted. On the other side of it, intricately engraved using the titan's blood were his initials: "E.J." which stands for Eren Jaeger.

"Just moments ago, you were lying on your back with your face twitching in pain, but now, you're having that maniacal smile on your face." Levi suddenly appeared beside Eren without warning which, needless to say, did a great job of startling the young soldier. He wondered if this sadistic corporal standing next to him was actually a titan who can teleport without trace, but then again, he was floating on cloud nine a while ago, so he must have failed to notice Levi-heichou approaching him.

"Ehh? Maniacal? That's so mean Levi-heichou. I mean, my expression is nowhere even close to Hanji-san's maniacal smile when she examines Titans, right?" Eren pouted as he hurried to catch to his superior who was walking at an incredibly fast pace.

"Does it matter?" Levi blurted out, annoyance evident in his voice. He sure doesn't like to talk about things which he deemed to be insignificant and unimportant.

Eren's face was suddenly filled with confusion at the sudden change of mood. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it seemed like his squad captain was unreasonably irritable today which was quite opposite to his usual calm and collected demeanor. Not to mention that he was beaten beyond recognition for just picking a fight with Jean earlier. Not that he started it; Jean was actually the one who said those reckless comments to him which made him lose his head. Sure, he was half expecting to get reprimanded but to be beaten like that… something must be disturbing Levi-heichou.

Eren glanced at humanity's strongest soldier beside him and saw something glistened from his eyes for a millisecond.

_"A tear?" _He thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes. It happened so fast that he was not sure of what he saw. _"That's impossible. What am I thinking? Must be my imagination. Besides, there's no way Levi-heichou would be crying." _Eren slapped himself twice as he tried to clear his thoughts.

"What are doing?" Levi asked in a stern voice.

"Uhh-" Eren was caught off-guard. "Nothing Levi-heichou." He turned to look away from his captain's gaze and instead focused on the hard cold ground beneath him. He couldn't take his thoughts away from what he just saw. It was surprisingly disturbing him than he had expected. He tried to think of something else to focus his attention on when he remembered the "badge" that he had received. He took it off and gently cradled it in his hands.

"Seriously. Stop treating that as if it's something more important than your life. What are you? A child who just received a candy? If you care for it too much, then it'll probably get in the way when you fight titans later on 'cause you'd be more concerned about it getting broken or stained."

Eren was about to voice out an argument in defense when his eyes landed on his captain's bare neck.

"Huh?" Eren was too shocked to speak.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Stop it. It's creeping me out brat."

Right at the spot of his neck where Eren expected to see his captain's Scouting Legion "Badge" dangling freely… he saw nothing.

"Uh-uhmm. Levi-heichou…?"

"What is it? If you want to say something, say it already. Stop stammering like a retarded titan."

"You don't have your Scouting Legion dog tag?"

The proud captain of Scouting Legion's Special Ops Squad was taken off-guard by Eren's unexpected question. He stood motionless in his spot and his face betrayed no emotion. Quite surprisingly; however, his eyes suddenly widened in surprise like a cheating boyfriend caught in act. Or to be more exact, it was like the eyes of a person who had just saw a dead human come back to life. Nevertheless, it was the kind of expression Eren didn't expect.

At the mention of his own Scouting Legion dog tag, waves of memories suddenly came flooding Levi's mind. It played like an old haunting melody from long ago which he thought he was successful in forgetting.

**_-Flashback in Levi's mind-_**

It was around five o'clock in the evening. The sun was almost setting, leaving patches of light and dark hues scattered in the vast space above which was the sky. She had just finished folding the laundry and was sitting on a bench near the well. She raised her hand as if on an attempt to reach the sky and smiled. How she love to look at the dusk as the sky slowly shifts from day to night, displaying an array of colors in its wake. She let herself sink in the beauty of the scene above her that she failed to notice a figure slowly approaching her.

"Hey."

"Uwaaaah!" She was deeply immersed in the vista she so admired that she was greatly taken in by surprise. Without even the chance to see who her unexpected guest was, she fell on her back with a loud thud on the ground.

The figure gave out a soft but manly giggle and slowly approached her. It went down on its knees, held her arms and gently helped her get back on her feet. She turned to face her unknown visitor and a blush slowly emerged from her cheeks as she found out who it was.

"Ahhh! Levi-heichou!" Instantly, she broke free from his hold and turned to face him. She bowed deeply and apologized.

"I'm so sorry Levi-heichou. I didn't know it was you. I'm so sorry." She bowed even deeply and closed her eyes. She mentally slapped herself for embarrassing herself in front of the respected soldier.

"What are you apologizing for, you silly girl?" Levi walked closer to her and gave her a scowl. But it was not the kind of scowl he would often give to his fellow soldiers; it was more like a playful teasing scowl.

_"Oh no." _She thought to herself as she felt her cheeks getting hotter and, without a doubt, redder. _"My heart's beating at a much faster rate, my insides are shouting, my palms are getting sweaty… Levi-heichou looks so cute up close. Am I the only one who thinks that he's cute even though he's giving me a scowl? Or rather, am I the only who thinks that he's cute no matter what expression he has, or no matter what he's doing?..." _

Before a drool managed to escape her "gawking" lips, she stepped back a little to give a considerable distance between her and the soldier.

"Uh-Uhm… An…Anou…" She stammered as she did her best to ignore the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She had embarrassed herself a while ago and she doesn't want to embarrass herself again.

_"I'm the worst."_ She silently whispered to herself as she tried collect her thoughts and think of something to say but it's just seemed impossible with Levi staring at her like that. Oh, how she hated herself for acting like a fool. But there's just no way for her to stay sane and calm in front of him.

Unaware of the inner dilemma currently setting off inside of her, Levi approached her, held her hand and led her to the bench where she sat before he came.

"I'm not gonna stay for long. I just came here to give you something." He said with anxiety evident in his voice. He bit his lips and clicked his tongue.

"Is something the matter Levi-heichou?" She asked. Levi's worried and shaking voice sent her out of her pleasant reverie.

"Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything's fine." Levi tried to have a more cheerful tone.

She saw through it all and dejection suddenly filled her face. She looked away from him with downcast eyes.

"You're a terrible liar heichou."

Levi was caught off guard by her statement. He didn't expect her to know him so well. She knew that he was greatly troubled by something but he chose not to speak up and tell her. He chose not to let her know.

A long silence ensued between the two of them with only the sound of the cicadas and the flowing of the water in the streams were all that was heard. During their littler exchange, night had fallen and bright full moon was now hanging on the sky.

The silence was slowly getting awkward and unnerving but no one spoke. Both of them remained quiet. She was pissed at him for hiding something from her again, while he was mentally debating whether to tell her or not. It was a close contest.

Unable to contain herself, she stood up and decided to speak up. Damn those who say that girls shouldn't be the one to speak up first.

"Levi." She said his name without any honorifics which did shock the corporal to a degree. She was about to scold him again but was cut off when Levi suddenly stood up, but his eyes did not meet hers.

At which point, Levi pushed himself closer to her that she was sure that he was going to hug her. She closed her eyes and waited but she felt nothing but a gentle tap on her shoulders. She opened her eyes and was surprised to see Levi in front of her with their faces only inches apart. Everything was happening so fast that she didn't have any time to think of how to react. Then she felt Levi's arms around her neck. He was putting something on her.

"Levi-heichou, what are you doing?"

The soldier placed his chin on her shoulder and whispered to her ears.

"Please hold on to this for a while, okay? At least until I go back from our expedition."

"But… this is your Scouting Legion dog tag."

"Exactly why I want you to keep it for now."

"But…"

Before she could voice out her complains, Levi released her and proceeded to walk away without saying anything more or even looking back.

She stood there for a while. Too stunned to speak. Until she realized what just happened and ran to chase the corporal.

"Levi-heichou!"

Levi heard her and he stopped.

"What is it? Go back now. It's getting dark."

Surprisingly, she dropped to her knees, with her hands to the ground.

"Before you go, please promise me one thing."

"Sure. What?"

"Please don't die! Please come back!"

At which point, Levi went down to his knees to face her. He lifted her chin and looked at her in the eyes.

"And promise me that you will be here waiting for me when I return. Just like what you always did."

Before she could give an answer, Levi pulled away, rode on his horse and disappeared into the night.

Little did they know that that was going be the last time they see each other. When Levi returned a week after, she was nowhere to be found. He searched for her, night and day, without even resting for a while, but he couldn't find a trace of her. No one knows what happened to her either. Her house was not wrecked or anything for that matter. There was no sign that anybody went there. It was exactly as it was the last time he visited her.

After six months of finding any clues about her mysterious disappearance, Erwin and Hanji finally managed to convince Levi to stop. And his attitude became even worse since then.

**_-End of Flashback-_**

Levi-heichou? Heichou? Heichou…?" Eren was waving his hand in front of the stunned corporal. "Are you alright Levi-heichou? You suddenly stared blankly into space. Are you alright?"

With this, Levi was brought back to the present and he shoved Eren's hand aside.

"I am alright brat. I'm just tired. I'm going to sleep now."

"Uh- Yes."

Eren looked at his captain's form as it faded into the night. He yawned and decided to go to bed as well; it was a bit late after all. Soldiers from the Scouting Legion must rest as much as they can to prepare themselves from any titan attack. With that in mind, he closed his eyes and let the slumber of sleep sway him.

**-Eren's POV-**

We were all having our breakfast that time when the drums sounded, signaling an emergency. We all went out and gathered outside to wait for Commander's Erwin's order and for an explanation of the current situation. Surprisingly though, Commander Erwin was nowhere to be found and it was Levi-heichou who filled us on the current state of affairs.

"Listen you brats! For some unknown reasons, Titans have managed to reach the small village located on the farthest west portion of Wall Rose. Members of the Garrison have determined that no breach on the wall was found so don't worry. This is not going to be something like what happened before when the Colossal Titan attacked us unaware. All we need to do is to wipe out those who are inside the wall."

"Heichou?" Jean raised his hand.

"What is it Krischtein?"

"Why should we be the ones to wipe those titans? We are quite far from the west you know! And if those members of the Garrison have determined that no breach was made, then wouldn't it be logical that they be the ones to handle those titans since they are already present on the site?

Levi-heichou sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wish I could say the same but all the members of the Garrison present on the site have been completely annihilated."

"What? Seriously? Is that even possible?" Jean buried his face in his hand in disbelief. All around me, I could hear my fellow soldiers cower in fear and disbelief. They were all going about how powerful the titans are. If the soldiers of the Garrison have been completely annihilated without a fight, then what about us? Damn it.

"Anou… heichou?" A soldier beside me raised his hand and asked. Judging from his looks, he must be one of our seniors.

"Huh?"

"What about the wall? How did the titan enter the wall if there was no breach? Shouldn't we deal with that first?"

Hearing his words, I felt my insides burning with rage again. I ought to learn to have self-control at times but I guess its way to difficult for me than I think. Without even realizing, I landed a well-driven punch at him.

"Haaaa? What the fuck are you talking about?" I grabbed the collar of his uniform and yelled at him. "If the members of the Garrison have all died, then that must mean that the village is currently being attacked by titans without anybody protecting them! And here you are, blurting out non-sense that the wall without breach is more important? Countless people are being devoured by titans even as we speak! And you think that the wall still comes as first? Are you an idiot?"

As I said those words, I saw his eyes slowly getting darker. I must have hit a nerve. Without me expecting it, he pushed me and I fell on my back on the ground. We exchanged positions. He was now the one who grabbed my collar and looked at me with piercing eyes. If looks could kill, then I might have died numerous times now.

"Shut up Jeager! You know how far we are from the west right? You said it yourself! Countless people are being devoured by the titans even as we speak! Going there will take us more or less thirty minutes. Now tell me! Do you think someone would still be alive by the times we arrive there? Hell no! The titans might even already have transferred to another village! That's why instead of wasting our time going there, we should find out how the titans were able to get inside without the walls getting breached! Do you hear me?! Sacrifices are inevitable! Choose the lesser evil as they say!"

"But…!" I kicked him hard which made him fell on his back again. But this time, I stopped grabbing his shirt. Unconsciously too, warm tears started to flow freely from my eyes. "Are you telling me that we should just leave them alone? Are you telling me that we should abandon them even if we are the only ones who are still capable of saving them? Is that what you want me to do?"

In that instant, I felt disgusted of myself and of the Scouting Legion. Damn. Why does this always happen? Why are there lives which I can't save? Why am I unable to save anyone? After three years of training, I'm still this pathetic!

The soldier I was having an argument with struggled to stand on his feet. I could see that he was also crying. Dammi! Fucking damn it! Are we really this hopeless?

"Hey." Levi-heichou suddenly dismounted from his horse and approached us.

"Wipe those tears. Honestly, you scums are so disgusting! Crying at a time like this? Aren't we supposed to be heading there now, Eren?"

"Huh?" I wiped the tears from my eyes and held firm in my resolve. "Levi-heichou?"

"Eren and I will be going to the village and wipe out those titans. Mike…" He turned to face Mike-san. "Mike, you lead the team who will investigate about this wall breach anomaly."

And that's how it was decided. Levi-heichou, Mikasa, Armin, the rest of the 104th Trainees Squad who entered the Scouting Legion and I went to the village to do what we can. The soldier with whom I had a fight with earlier and his comrades went with Mike-san to investigate on every possibility of how the titans managed to enter the territories within the walls.

The ride to the farthest west village of Wall Rose proved to be a long one. The road was bumpy and rough as well but we paid no mind to it. Along the course of the ride, not of us breathe a single word. A tensed silenced has ensued but even though it was a little bit unnerving, it actually helped us to clam down and focus on our mission.

After thirty five mind numbing minutes, we finally reached our destination and the sight nearly took the life out of us. It was the exact portrayal of what happened at Shiganshina five years ago. Dead and dismembered bodies scattered everywhere, blood flowed like a stream around the area, buildings and infrastructures lay ruined around. In that instant, a lot of unwanted and horrid memories came flooding in my mind as I keenly observe the situation unfolding before our very eyes. It was like hell…No… It was hell itself! Behind me, I could hear some of my fellow soldiers puke their gut outs after seeing the mess that the village had become. Yes, it was horrible enough to make you want to throw up. Some of them wailed in tears, while some just looked away. Some even hurriedly mounted their horses to go as far as possible from the scene. One's resolve to fight titans can be easily wavered just by witnessing something like this. If one doesn't have a strong heart and firm belief, I don't doubt that one's sanity can be easily tainted by this chaotic slaughter of mankind.

"You sure you wanna be looking that way?" I felt a soft tap on my soldier. It was Reiner.

"What are you talking about? I told you before, right? What happened in Shiganshina was far more horrible and worst. If I was able to stay sane after witnessing it, then… this is nothing." I took a few steps forward as I surveyed the scene.

"Get back, Eren!" Levi-heichou shouted from behind me. "There might be some titans left."

"It's alright Levi-heichou. If there are indeed some titans left, then, I just have to exterminate them right?" I said.

"Eren…" Mikasa was about to place her hand on my shoulder but I shove her hand aside.

"Don't worry about me Mikasa." I walked forward as I explored deeper into the area when I suddenly heard it.

"A cry…?" I looked around but I saw nothing. "Must be my imagination, huh? Seriously, I've been imagining things quite a lot." I said as I rubbed my temples. I continued to walk forward when I heard it again.

"Eren, be careful!" I heard Mikasa shout.

"Be careful? What are you talking about Mikasa? If anything, I should be careful because someone's crying? Shouldn't be the logical thing to do is to find out where it's coming from and help him?" Mikasa can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes.

"Don't be hasty kid!" Levi-heichou slowly approached me. "Let's look for it."

So, for almost an hour, every one of us who were there tried to look for the origin of the cry but we didn't find anything.

"It's been an hour already, and we haven't heard the cry since. Do you think, you know? It's just a cry of a ghost?" Connie said as he suddenly got goose bumps.

"Getting goose bumps like that. Are you serious man?" Jean laughed as he playfully hit Connie's back.

"O-ouch! That hurt Jean!" Connie complained as he stood up.

"What do you think you're doing? You're acting so damn carefree while someone's out there struggling to live?" I suddenly lost my temper again and walked towards Jean. I was about to punch him when someone punched me instead. Talking about karma.

"Oi, you damn brat!" I turned to face a very angry and pissed Levi-heichou. The expression he had on his face was the darkest one I've ever seen ever since I entered the Scouting Legion. And to top it all, he was scary. I've never seen him angry or pissed like this, and I know that I'm in for quite a treat. "I'm very tired and pissed of having to deal with you and your temper so spare me some energy and cut it out already. Don't just go and burst your bubble for every damn small thing."

He was about to give me a beating when we heard the cry again.

"There it is again!" Connied exclaimed as he buried his face in his hands and cower in fear.

Levi-heichou ignored me for a moment and sprinted to the nearest debris in front of us. He lifted the piles of wood and dug through the ruin.

"Levi-heichou, are you sure it's there?" Armin asked from afar but heichou paid no mind to it and instead, continued digging.

He dug and dug for a long time and when we were sure that he was about to give up, he held out a small delicate figure in his arms. It was that of a small boy. The boy was sleeping soundly. He didn't seem to be really hurt but he had bruises all over his body. It really was a miracle for him to be able to survive the attack. But that was not what startled us. It was the way Levi-heichou was looking at the kid. It was like that of a blind man seeing light for the first time in his life. It was like that of a thirsty desert traveler finding a stream after months of roaming around. It was like that of a kid receiving his first medal. He just stood there with the babe in his arms. He just stared like that at the kid as if they're the only ones existing in the universe right now. I've never seen Levi-heichou like that before. It truly was a wonderful sight.

"Levi!" Suddenly, somebody called Levi-heichou and we turned around to see Commander Erwin. "We managed to eradicate most the titans. Mike's team is currently taking care of the remaining ones." He dismounted from his horse and walked towards the corporal. But Levi-heichou did not seem to hear him. He just stood still and stared at the kid without even blinking his eyes.

"Hey, hey. Is the first time Levi-heichou has seen a kid?" Jean remarked but I was too shocked by Levi-hecihou's behavior that I paid no mind to one of Jeans crazy comments.

"Levi. Levi! Are you alright?" Commander Erwin approached Levi-heichou and gently shook him. At which point, Levi-heichou seemed to notice him as he broke his stare from the boy and turned to face Erwin.

"He was the only one we could save. Let's go back now." And with that, Levi-heichou walked away, mounted on his horse and sped away without even bother looking at us.

That night, Levi-heichou didn't leave the child's side as he recovered from his injuries. He was there beside the boy's bed. Staring at him with the same eyes he had earlier. We were all too shocked to see Levi-heichou like that and we all felt pity not just to the boy but to him as well. It seemed like he was also in pain. That's why no one dared to bring up the topic as we were having our dinner.

After three days, the boy had finally gained consciousness and quite surprisingly, Levi-heichou went back to his usual self after that. We learned that the boy's name was Raiyle but apart from his name, we found nothing more. He appeared to have amnesia of some sort but we're not quite sure. Being young as he was, his innocent mind was traumatized by his horrible experience of the titan attack and it would also not be so impossible that he was just pretending to forget the things that he had witnessed. Poor kid. But even Commander Erwin and Hanji-san agreed not to force out any type information from him anymore. If he wants to forget those memories and live anew, then we will let him be. The best thing that we could do is to be there for him when he needs some help.

That being said, we went back to our usual routine which now includes Raiyle. He helps us in every small way that he can especially with household chores and everyone in the Scouting Legion seem to be fond of him too. A week after he regained consciousness, he returned to what we perceived to be his personality and attitude before the titan attack on his village. He was bubbly and cheerful and loves to laugh. He actually kind of reminds me of my younger self before I lost my mom, but of course, without all the fist fight and "fight for justice" stuff. Raiyle was not the type to look for a fight, join a fight or start a fight. He was a peacemaker and would oftentimes intervene whenever some older soldiers fight. That was the kind of kid he is. It's not such a wonder why everybody loves him.

But, contrary to what was expected, Levi-heichou didn't interact with him anymore. We really thought that heichou would be a little more open or expressive to Raiyle since he's got those eyes when he found Raiyle buried in the debris but we were greatly mistaken. It was as if Raiyle didn't exist in his eyes, but still, Raiyle would greet him now and then. However, Levi-heichou would just pass by him as if he's just wind.

"There! This would the last of them. Thanks for helping me gather up firewood Raiyle." I said while wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"Don't mention it Eren-niichan. I'm glad that I could be of help to everyone." He looked at me and smiled. A smile that was pure and pristine. Kids really got the purest and the nicest smile. We went out of the storeroom and found our way outside the practice yard. We proceeded to sat on the nearby bench.

"Say Raiyle…"

"What is it, onii-chan?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be humanity's most powerful soldier, in other words, the most powerful soldier of the Scouting Legion!" He boldly declared without even stopping to breath.

I lightly hit him on the back and laugh. "Really? That's why you've been stalking Levi-heichou around?"

"Waaaaah!" He screamed and got down from the bench. "How did you know Eren-niichan?"

"It was quite obvious, you know!" I patted his head and smiled. "You admire him, don't you?"

"Yes. Levi-heichou is strong and very powerful. But even though he stands out from the rest, he still doesn't hesitate to help out those in need. Even if his face betrays no emotion, I can tell that he is a good person with a pure heart." He said with his eyes beaming in delight.

"Huh? Really?" I scratched my head and looked at him with doubtful eyes. "I thought that he was just a sadistic monster who loves to beat people around?"

"Ehhh?" Raiyle yelled as he kicked my foot. "What are you talking about oniichan!? I wont forgive you for saying something bad about Levi-heichou!"

"I don't get it Raiyle! Is it because you stalk him around that you defend him like this?" I asked as I tried to fake my anger.

"No!" Raiyle shouted. "It is because I stalk him around that I know the kind of person he is."

"Well then, suit yourself." I said as I raised my head to watch the stars. "It's beautiful, isn't it Raiyle?"

"Huh? Yeah…"

"…"

"Eren-niichan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your dog tags…"

"Huh?"

"Your dog tags…"

"Yes, what about them?"

"What do they mean and what do they represent?"

"You want to know?" I said, with my eyes glowing in joy and excitement.

"Well, judging from the way your eyes looks, you're going to tell me a very long long long story, aren't you? But I'm not asking about what they mean to you as soldiers."

Suddenly, my expression became a little darker. "Ehhhh? You're so mean Raiyle. And I was excited to let you hear about these "badges". I pouted and looked away from him.

"…"

"Well, what do you want to know about them?"

"You once said that they each represent their respective soldiers right?"

I looked at him with a confused face.

He cleared his throat. "What I mean is… is there some way to determine who the owner of a certain dog tag is?"

"Well, there is."

"Really?" His expression suddenly brightened and his eyes beamed with anticipation. "Tell me onii-chan! Please tell me."

"Well…" I said, fixing my posture. I took off my dog tag and showed it to him. "See this in the back part?"

"Wooo! Something's engraved in it oniichan."

"Yeah. Engraved behind every soldier's dog tag are the initials of their name. It was engraved using a titan's blood."

"A titan's blood? That's so cool!" He said as he examined my dog tag. "E.J. Eren Jaeger, right?"

"That's right."

All of a sudden, Raiyle jumped off the bench and ran to his right. He looked back at me and waved his hand.

"Thank you so much Eren-niichan! I'm so happy that it's him!"

I waved back. "Yeah. No problem." I stood up and walked towards my room. "I'm so happy that it's him? What did Raiyle mean by that?" Feeling tired myself, I retired for the night.

**-Levi's POV-**

For some reasons, I couldn't sleep well tonight. Damn it! I've been deprived of sleep for a few weeks now because of the continuous titan attacks inside the wall and now that I finally have a peaceful night, I couldn't drift into slumber. I rubbed my temples and stood up. Drinking a glass of milk doesn't make it any better. So I decided to put on my soldier clothes and go outside to keep myself occupied.

It was a quiet and tranquil night. Reminds me of the time I had as an underground thug before Erwin found me. I sighed and took a deep breath. Being still makes me feel incredibly unnerving. All the actions from the past nights have made my body quite fired up. After much thought and inner deliberation, I carefully found my way through the darkness and went towards the practice yard. I haven't done some cleaning the past few days so I thought that this is just the right time to do that. The practice yard can be the dirtiest part of HQ and I have nothing to do anyway so there's no reason for me not to clean right?

I got some of my cleaning materials and went to survey my area of cleaning interest. That's when I saw a small figure sitting on the bench in the left side of the yard. It was that of a small boy. Must be Raiyle. Wait… What is that brat doing here this late at night? Well, never mind. Kids are known for having a lot of stored energy right? So he must be experiencing the same thing as I am. I ignored him and immediately went back to my cleaning.

After a couple of minutes, I noticed that no matter how I sweep, the array of leaves being blown by the wind from the west never ends for some reasons. That's when I saw that the damn brat was actually the one scattering the leaves by tearing them into smaller pieces while he whistles. I sighed as I approached him. Oh, I don't care about child abuse or anything of that sort. Problem children should be given a lesson. Raiyle seemed to be so immersed in what he was doing that he failed to notice me.

"Hey." I called out.

"Uwaaaaah!" He screamed as he was taken in by surprise. He must not have expected me so he fell on his back on the ground.

"O-ouch…" Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at me. He really is pissing me to no end. Having no other choice, I went down on my knees and lifted him up. As I did that, memories of long ago suddenly filled my head again. Feeling slightly nauseous, I rubbed the back of my head and closed my eyes. Why the hell am I remembering her right now? It's so fucking insane. Why now of all times?

"An-anou…" I opened my eyes and saw him standing in front of me, crying.

"What do you want kid?" I replied.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" He bowed deeply as he apologized. He cried even harder this time.

"Don't sweat the small stuff kid." I said as I stood up. I was about to pat his head when the battle bells started ringing.

"Fuck this shit." I cursed under my breath. "The titans really do not plan on letting me have a rest huh?"

I ran towards the stable when I felt a soft thug on my shirt.

"Anou…" He was at it again.

"Listen kid. I don't have enough time to spare so… Please let go of me if you don't want to become a titan's food."

"I- I have a lot of things to tell you!" He screamed even though I can clearly hear his voice.

Sighing, I went down to my knees again and patted his head. "Then tell them to me after I return."

"Yeah." He nodded. His eyes beaming with anticipation. "Please don't die. Please come back."

"What are you talking about kid? Who do you think I am?"

I turned and walked away when I heard him scream.

"You're Levi Rivaille! Humanity's strongest soldier!"

I felt a smirk form in my lips as I prepared myself for battle. "Damn right you are kid!"

The battle we had was not something so difficult, nor was it challenging. Just your average titans going berserk around. I didn't even break a sweat. But even though it might not have been quite a threat, it was pretty alarming to know that even if the walls are not breached, a lot of titans are still able to reach human territory. Just thinking about it makes me go insane. Dammit. We really have our hands full.

As we were going back to HQ, I couldn't stop thing about Raiyle and our little exchange earlier. And why the hell does he stir up some memories inside of me. I couldn't quite understand. And why is he so happy to see me? And what does he want to tell me? He said that he had a lot of things to tell me and I know that whatever they maybe, they're something I can't just disregard. After all, he had that glow in his eyes when he spoke to me. The same glow which told me that Eren will be a useful asset for the future of humanity.

The ride back to HQ was smooth and everything went well. We also didn't have any casualties. Now that's a first. It must mean that we're probably improving even just a bit. Well, that's much better than not making any progress at all.

But how naïve am I? Do I really believe that it's possible to have a fight against the titans without casualties? Now that I think about it, there are a lot of titans now that are intelligent as we humans are and if we had a plan every mission, they also had theirs.

When we arrived, HQ was crushed. Totally crushed and pulverized to the ground. Everyone was shocked, and I'm no exception at all. Shit. Maybe that's why the fight we had was surprisingly easy. Their target was not us, but HQ. Another failure in our part.

As I dismounted from my horse, one thing immediately came to mind. Raiyle! He better be safe! I have yet to hear what he has to tell me! He better be safe!

I immediately surveyed the ruins that were once our HQ while shouting his name.

"Raiyle! Raiyle! Where are you?! Raiyle!"

"Calm down Levi!" Erwin grabbed my shoulder but I forcefully shove his hand aside.

"Leave me alone Erwin!"

I ran back and forth while digging through the debris along the way.

"We're not yet sure if there are still titans around Levi!"

"Fuck off Erwin!" I scowled at him.

Screw those titans. Why did they have to attack right here? Right when we were out on the field! Damn it! He was lucky to have been saved by me before, but, can I still save him again? This is getting increasingly unnerving! I feel so pathetic! I feel so useless! Damn it! Then I stopped and realized.

Why the hell am I so concerned about this brat? I have killed a lot of people, I have sacrificed a lot of lives, my comrades had all died in front of me but I didn't give a damn about it before but now. Why am I feeling this way? What is this? Why do I have a heavy feeling on my chest? Why do I feel like my heart is being pierced every time I dig through the debris and not find him there? Dammit! I'm so confused!

Just when I was so sure that I was losing my sanity, Eren called my name.

"Levi-heichou, Raiyle's in here! And he's not hurt! He's just unconscious!"

Hearing those words, I felt the heavy feeling in my chest suddenly go away and for some reasons, I realized that my face was getting wet. I tried to wipe the wetness away and found out that I was actually crying. The hell? I'm actually crying? And when was the last time that I had shed tears? Have I gotten so soft? What is this feeling? I stood up and looked at the brightening sky.

Yeah. So that's it. That's right. I have felt something like this before. I just forgot. It was when she was still around to wait for me as I returned from my mission everyday.

"Leviiiiii!" I heard someone screamed my name and turned to face Raiyle. He was covered in mud but at least he was okay. At least he was not hurt. For the first time in my life since she disappeared, I smiled. A smile that was neither fake nor scripted. It was a pure genuine smile that was from the heart, though I'm quite sure that I looked pretty much like an idiot. Even Erwin and the rest of the soldiers in the Legion couldn't believe what they saw. To me, they seem to look mortified after seeing me smile. Dammit. I must look like an idiot with that stupid smile on my face.

"Levi! You came back!" Raiyle screamed. He was crying again. I have to beat him up later and teach him not to cry for just about every single thing.

"Of course. I promise, didn't I?" I yelled at him. I went down on my knees and opened my arms. I was ready to welcome him. Ready to welcome this new feelings slowly building up inside of me. Ready to welcome someone in my world.

When Raiyle saw this, he wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled. Then he ran towards me smiling and laughing but at the same time crying. I sighed. This kid really is one hell of an idiot. I should have not left him in Eren's care. Now I know that being an idiot is contagious. I should keep that well in mind.

We were just a few meters away from each other when…

a titan suddenly snatched Raiyle in its mouth.

It was a small titan but was incredibly fast and swift. Dammit. Why haven't I felt its presence? Why hasn't anyone felt its presence? Shit!

And to top it all, after seeing Raiyle snatched by a titan, my body wouldn't move. Fuck. Why now of all times? I haven't been too shocked to the point where I can't move my body before. I just stood still and motionless; too shocked to speak, too surprised to move. Am I going to lose somebody again? No! I don't want that to happen again! Damn!

"Move your lazy ass over there Levi!" Someone screamed from behind me and kicked me hard. I got up and turned to face Hanji.

"I can't believe that someone like you has to tell me that." I scowled at her. She gave me a thumbs up and grinned.

Instantly, I summoned all the energy I could muster and gave chase. I don't want to lose Raiyle… no… I'm not going to lose Raiyle. With the help of Eren and his friends we were able to catch up with the titan and pin him down. Then I cut open its jaws and released Raiyle. When he was able to break free, he hugged me and cried.

"Leviiii! I was so scared! I was so scared that I thought I was going to die!"

I hugged him back and patted his head. "You silly kid. As long as I'm here, nothing's gonna happen to you. I promise. I'll protect you with everything I have."

"Really?"

"Really. " Feeling Raiyle in my arms was probably one of the best things that had happened in my life so far. For the first time in my life, I found a reason for living. Before, I was so sure that I was willing to give up my life for the sake of humanity but now, I feel like I want to survive. I want to survive and live to see Raiyle grow up. I never thought that I'd ever feel like this again.

"Shit! Look out heichou!" Somebody suddenly yelled.

I turned to see the titan's arms broke free from the trap. Damn it! So there's more huh?!

"Levi-heichou's not gonna make it!" Eren yelled.

I watch in horror as the titan's arms slowly closed in on us. With my speed I could easily escape from this but with Raiyle behind me it's impossible. That when I thought.

Isn't this the best way to die? To die protecting someone you consider more important than your life? I felt a smirk forming in my lips.

"I'll protect you with my life Raiyle!" I screamed as I turned to face Raiyle but what happened next shocked me.

Just as the titan's arm hit me, I felt someone pushed my back. I turned and was horrified to see Raiyle kick me in the back.

"Look out, otou-san!" He yelled and in that moment, the titan's arms hit him.

"You shitty piece of meat!" Eren screamed from behind and landed a heavy hit on the titan's neck.

I hurriedly came to Raiyle's side and held his hand.

"Why did you do that Raiyle? I told you I'll protect you with my life, right?" Tears slowly streamed down from my face. I can see that life is slowly escaping from Raiyle's fragile body but I did not want to admit it.

"And why the hell did you call me otou-san? You fool! Are you that conceited to think that I'm your father? As if I'd ever have a child like you! You're way ahead of yourself brat! And I don't ever remember having a child."

Raiyle slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with eyes that nearly made my heart melt.

"I…I'm ha-ppy…to have…met..you…otou-san! I'm…happy to know…that…the humanity's strongest soldier…is…actually…my…dad. I'm…so…proud!"

And with that Raiyle closed his eyes and breathe his last.

"Raiyle! Raiyle! Open your eyes! Raiyle!" I yelled, though I know that yelling will not bring him back.

Just then, in the corner of my eyes I saw something shine at Raiyle's hand. I opened his hand and what I saw made by body shook with sobs. I punched the cold hard ground beneath me and curse myself.

The thing that was shining in Raiyle's hand was a Scouting Legion's dog tag. And when I flipped it backwards, the initials engraved on it were: L.R. Levi Rivaille. My initials.

_(I said I gave all my love to you  
We dreamt a new house  
Some place to be at peace  
But things changed,,, Suddenly  
I lost my dreams in this disaster_

We don't know what is wrong tonight  
Everybody's got no place to hide  
No one's left and there's no one to go on

_**All I know is my life is gone**__)_

* * *

**Uhmm… So how did it go? I hope Levi didn't sound super OOC here. Well, considering everything that had happened, I hope his change of characters is acceptable and at the very least, forgivable. And… I'm actually pretty much debating whether to make this story into a longer one and divide it into various chapters or make a prequel or sequel of everything that had happened here so far but anyway, I really do hope that you like this one-shot story of mine. xDDD**

**So, your thoughts and comments please? Reviews? Thank you guys. I love you all!**


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